Chronically Me: How My Illness Reshaped Who I Am
Life throws a lot at us, but sometimes it throws a curveball in the form of a chronic illness. It can feel like a thief, stealing your energy, plans, and maybe even a bit of yourself. But here's the thing: chronic illness doesn't have to define you. It can, however, reshape you.
For the longest time, I saw myself as an outgoing person. I was always up for an all-day outing, a road trip, anything that involved being out. Then, chronic illness entered the chat, and suddenly that person I knew felt a little… distant.
It's not uncommon. Studies show that chronic conditions can influence personality. Let's unpack this a bit.
The Shift: From Social Butterfly to Selective Socializer
Remember those days when going out every night seemed like a good idea? Yeah, those became a distant memory. Pain, fatigue, or unpredictable flare-ups can make even the thought of socializing draining. I went from being the life of the party to carefully picking my outings, cherishing the good days, and learning to say no (a crucial skill, by the way).
This doesn't mean I became a hermit. It just meant I found my new "normal." Smaller gatherings with close friends, virtual hangouts, or even just catching up over coffee – these became my jam.
The Resilience Boost: From Frustrated to Fiercely Determined
Chronic illness can test your patience like nothing else. There are days when you just want to scream – at your body, at the world, at that seemingly able-bodied person who effortlessly jogged past you. But here's the thing: you learn to cope. You develop this incredible resilience, a determination to find ways to live your life, even with limitations.
This newfound strength can spill over into other areas. Maybe you finally tackle that creative project you put on hold. Perhaps you advocate for yourself at work with newfound confidence. Chronic illness might steal your spoons (a metaphor for limited energy, if you're not familiar!), but it can also teach you to use them wisely.
The Redefined Priorities: From "Go-Getter" to "Appreciator of the Small Things"
Let's face it, chronic illness can force you to slow down. That weekend getaway you meticulously planned? Cancelled due to a flare-up. Spontaneous adventures? More like meticulously scheduled "good days" adventures.
But here's the secret beauty: slowing down allows you to appreciate the little things. A quiet sunset from your window. A perfect cup of tea. The genuine connection with a loved one. Chronic illness can teach you to savor the moments, and to find joy in the seemingly mundane.
It's Not All Negative: The Unexpected Gifts of Chronic Illness
This might sound crazy, but chronic illness has given me some unexpected gifts. It's shown me the strength I never knew I possessed. It's introduced me to a whole community of warriors fighting similar battles. It's forced me to prioritize self-care, something I always neglected before.
Don't get me wrong, there are still bad days, days filled with frustration and grief for the life I once knew. But chronic illness doesn't have to steal your personality. It can refine it, reshape it into something stronger, more resilient, and maybe even a little wiser.
Remember, you are not alone. Chronic illness may change you, but it doesn't have to break you. Embrace the journey, find your new normal, and celebrate the strength you never knew you had.
